Royal Blue Memories
by XxXCollinXxX
Summary: Kazuki Saito gets into a car crash with his best friend Haruto Yukimura, who is the adopted son of Nowaki and Hiroki, but ends up forgetting the man he had realized he loved. Haruto tries to get Kazuki to remember, but are those moments lost forever? MxM
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Kazuki Saito gets into a car crash with his best friend Haruto Yukimura, who is the adopted son of Nowaki and Hiroki, but ends up forgetting his life before the crash. And the man he had realized he loved. Haruto tries to get Kazuki to remember, but will Kazuki ever remember the moments they shared in that car?**

**Hey guys! It's XxXCollinXxX again! Um..sorry about not posting in like a year. I kinda just stopped writing for a really long time...but I'm back and will be posting more stuff now! Chapter 2 of A Link to be Severed will be coming soon! =D**

**But for now heres a Junjo Romantica fic! I had to combine the Prologue and Chapter 1 into one post cause the Prologue was really short. Hope you all like it! =D**

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

Who would have thought that one moment of pleasure, one moment of weakness would have changed my life forever. I had resisted for so long. Fought him off. Telling him that I didn't love him and never would. Finally he caught me at my weakest. The weakest I'd ever been. The one that _I_ loved had left me and I didn't even get the chance to tell him that I loved him. I felt so guilty and so distraught that I would have said or done anything. Anything to feel love.

When he had leaned towards me for that one kiss that he had wanted for so long, I didn't push away. I didn't hit him to get him to stop. I was numb. I closed my eyes and imagined it was _him_. The thought of it being _him_ made my stomach churn. I deepened the kiss and so did he. Just as I started to feel the tip of his tongue on my lips I could hear the squeal of tires on the edge of my hearing.

I took no notice of it and grabbed his royal blue shirt. I always loved royal blue. In my mind it symbolized a new beginning. I had always gotten a cake with royal blue icing when I was younger for my birthday. It was the beginning of the coming year. A year that would be full of sadness, anger, betrayal, and disaster. But also give happiness, bliss, excitement, and peace. I never knew why the color royal blue sprung out of my mind as a "new beginning" color…but it did. Ironic that he would be wearing a shirt that was of that color.

Suddenly he pulled away and his pleasured face turned to one of horror. The squeal of tires I had heard earlier was now bursting my eardrums. For a moment I wondered why tires would be squealing, but then I realized that we had stopped at the side of the road after I started tearing up from our recent send off of our friend and my love. That is when things got serious. He had told me that he would never leave me and that he loved me with his every fiber. I took the bait and told him to kiss me. I guess I was so heartbroken that all I wanted was to feel another man against me.

Now we were both hearing another car screech toward ours, and he could see it. I wanted to turn around but I couldn't take my eyes off of his emerald ones. They held fear and I realized he wasn't staring at the car coming at me at 75 mph. He was staring at me. Suddenly I realized he feared for my safety. And I feared for his. Just as I heard metal collide against metal, I surged towards him. I covered him with my own body, knowing it wouldn't do much but at least I tried to protect him.

His body under mine was the last thing I felt before my vision went black. The last thing I thought before I succumbed to the darkness was that I had kept him safe. At least the one person that truly loved me was safe. I just wish I would have had the strength to tell him my realization of those few seconds. The one thing he had told me so many times, expecting for an answer that I never gave. All I wanted to say was…

_I love you._

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><p><span>Chapter 1<span>

Darkness. That's all I know now. Who was I? Where did I come from? I don't remember. I can barely make out the beep of some machine. It almost sounds like a metronome. The steady _beep…beep…beep_is almost like music for what I am now. I'm cold and I feel like I'm floating in a dark abyss. But I don't _see_ anything. I only feel it. I feel the darkness, the sound of the beep reverberating through me. It's so loud, but comforting. It's my only tie to whatever world I came from. Whoever I was.

I also hear voices. Faint and blurry. But there. I think I can make out some words. "…in a coma…when or if…wake up." "…let him rest." "Why is he…he protected me…Kazuki!"

Was that voice calling out to me? Am I Kazuki? Oh, now I remember. My name is Kazuki Saito. Who was that? How did it know me? Who were the others? Do I know them? They must be from where I came from. But where was I now? I had no clue.

Rest? Yes…I need to rest. Sleep would be good. Sleep…

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><p>"Kazuki...please wake up. I don't know what I would do without you. I'm already a wreck and it's only been a couple days. I want to see the way your blue eyes shine again," I smiled a bit as I looked down at Kazuki's pale face. He looked so peaceful. So innocent. I wanted to kiss him awake like the prince did to Sleeping Beauty. I wanted him to wake up!<p>

I scooted my chair closer so I could lean against the bed he had been laying in for the past two days. I bit my lip. He didn't smell like Kazuki at all. He smelled like the hospital. Curse the doctors for taking away that musky scent that he always had. My heart sped up as I remembered smelling that as I leaned in for that kiss. The kiss that he returned. My body slowed back down as I remembered what happened after that fateful kiss. If I had just kept driving until we got off the highway Kazuki would be awake and smiling.

"I'm sorry," I breathed into the patient gown he wore, "It's all my fault."

"Mr. Yukimura!" A female voice sounded behind me. I didn't bother to look up. "You need to rest! Your leg and your arm need to heal." The nurse said again as she gently pushed me to sit up. I looked at her with my green eyes. A worried look crossed her face. I knew she wasn't worried for my arm and leg. She saw my dull, scared expression I had been wearing for two days. She knew I was more worried about Kazuki than myself.

She sighed and gently spoke, "Haruto, he will be fine. I'll watch over him while you sleep. If he wakes up I will personally come get you." Her eyes seemed sincere. I nodded and grabbed my crutches. She helped me to my feet and before we slowly made our way down the hall I stole one more glance at Kazuki. I pleaded to whoever was listening for Kazuki to be fine. To wake up tomorrow and be totally fine. To run into my arms and kiss me like he had never had before. I missed him.

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><p>When I opened my eyes I saw brightness for the first time in what felt like years. I moaned and closed my eyes again. I shifted away from the source of the light and tried to open my eyes again. What I first saw was easy to describe. Pale white walls and a window with the blinds closed next to a door. I glanced to where the light was coming from. It was another window, bigger than the first. Once my eyes adjusted I saw an outstretch of city. What city? I had no clue.<p>

I then heard a strange noise. It sounded like a snore. I looked back to the dark side of the room and saw a man just a couple years older than I was, which was 19. That was one thing I remembered. I couldn't remember anything but my name, my age and the simple things like schooling. I don't remember actually being in school though.

I squinted, trying to make out the shadowy figure of the man sitting in the chair next to the bed I was lying in. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and finally I saw him. I blinked. He was fairly good looking. He had jet black hair that came to his eyebrows in the front and the middle of his neck in the back. His eyes where closed and if I saw right in the shadows, he had tan skin. Why was this man here? I don't remember ever meeting him.

I tried to sit up, but the moment my muscles tightened I let out a grunt of pain. Next to me, the man sat up from his slouched sleep and blinked open his eyes. They were a bright emerald. Like jewels. He looked over and me with a shocked expression.

"K–Kazuki?" he breathed. I looked over at him confused. How did he know my name? "Kazuki!" he exclaimed as he practically jumped in the bed with me. He hugged me and pain shot through my abdomen. I let out another grunt, but this time it was closer to a cry. The man quickly let go as he heard my outburst of pain. "I'm sorry," he said, still breathless, "It's just…I'm so glad to see you awake." He leaned in to hug me again, but this time it was very gentle. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and buried his face in my neck. "I missed you," he whispered.

I squirmed uneasily under his embrace. "Wh–What are you doing?" I asked him, very confused and very uncomfortable. The man withdrew his face from my neck to look me in the eyes.

"I thought because of what you said in the car we would be..." As he trailed off his sentence he leaned down to me. He touched his lips to mine.

_What the heck? _With all the strength I had as I ignored the pain, I pushed the man away. "Get off of me!" I yelled. The man looked at me confused.

"What?" he asked; hurt clearly in his voice and eyes.

Before the man could say anything, a nurse came into the room. "Is something–" she cut off as she saw me. She brightened up. "Mr. Saito you're awake!" she said, "I'll inform the doctor." Before leaving she gave a friendly smile to the man. "See Haruto? He was going to be fine," she said as she left.

I looked back to Haruto. He was avoiding eye contact. "I–I'm sorry for that," he stuttered, "I'll go call your parents to tell them you are awake." With that he walked out of the room and I noticed he had a slight limp to his right leg. I sighed and wiped my lips as if to get rid of Haruto's lip germs. God I was so confused.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My chest was tight as I tried not to limp out of Kazuki's room. So he really didn't feel that way. He just needed someone to take care of him while he was in pain. That's how it always was between the two of us. Something horrible would happen to Kazuki about Makoto not getting the hint of Kazuki's love towards him and Kazuki would come running to me.

Curse that Makoto Yamato. I hoped he died on his way to America. Or some American would kidnap him. Anything to get him to never come back to Japan. He'd hurt Kazuki too many times to be trusted. I had no idea why in the world I got so worked up over him. Usually I was calm and good natured around others. But Makoto…he got under my skin. Even before I met Kazuki. Makoto and I had only really become friends because of the brown haired beauty. Kazuki was so young and so naïve that it was adorable. He was the only person that made me smile so much in such a short time.

I pushed the thoughts of remorse away as I stepped up to the nurse's station and leaned on the counter. "Excuse me?" I asked the woman sitting behind a computer screen. She looked up and gave me a small smile.

"Yes young man?" she asked, wrinkles forming on the corner of her eyes as she smiled. I politely smiled back.

"May I use a phone?" I asked. _'Cause mine got crushed in between a door and a seat,_ I added in my head. She nodded.

"Of course," she said pointing towards the end of the counter, "Right there. Dial 9 to get a number out of the hospital." I smiled again, genuine this time.

"Thank you very much," I said right before making my way to the black phone dock. I pressed the receiver to my ear and dialed 9 before I went on with the number that Kazuki's parents had given me. I had dialed it so many times I had it memorized by now. They couldn't always stay at the hospital so I was their life-line on Kazuki's condition when visiting hours were closed. In the past two weeks, I had called them probably about a thousand times.

"Hello?" a voice answered on the other line. It was Kazuki's mother.

"It's Yukimura," I told her, using my formal name. I could picture her smiling, a smile that was exactly like Kazuki's.

"Anything happen?" she asked desperately. I nodded, then remembered I was on the phone.

"Yes," I replied, making my voice sound excited, "He's fully awake. The doctor is seeing him now." I had to put at least an inch between my ear and the speaker as she squealed in delight.

"Kazuki's awake!" she exclaimed to, who I guessed, was her husband and Kazuki's father, "My little boy is finally awake!" I heard her sob and I couldn't help but smile. Kazuki was loved by everyone, especially his parents.

"I'm pretty sure you can come in if you explain to the secretaries at the front desk that he woke up," I told her once her sobbing quieted down just a bit, "I'll be here watching him until you get here."

"Yes, yes. Thank you so much, Yukimura," she sniffed, "You're such a great friend to Kazuki. I couldn't ask for a better man to watch my son." At that comment, I suddenly felt my cheeks grow hot. Did she guess that I loved Kazuki? No, there was no way. No one really knew of my love interests besides my own parents and Kazuki. Kazuki's parents didn't even know their son liked guys either. He had kept it a secret in case they were to get angry at him.

"Thank you Mrs. Saito," was all I could get out calmly. At that, we both hung up. I leaned on the counter again as I tried to calm myself, but the words that woman had spoken through the receiver made my stomach churn. I swallowed the lump in my throat and picked up the phone again. I needed to call my parents to tell them the news as well. I hit 9 again and then dialed my home phone easily as if breathing. It only rang twice before being picked up.

"Hello?" the voice of one of my fathers asked. I broke into a smile when I heard it was Nowaki.

"Nowaki? It's Haruto," I said. I called both my parents by their first names. Since they were both men, I couldn't really both call them dad. They obviously weren't my biological parents since two men couldn't have a child. I was adopted, just like my father Nowaki. I was adopted at the age of ten because my other father, Hiroki, didn't want to raise a child. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to take care of it right. He had a bit of a temper, and was sure he would strangle the child if it did so much as breathe wrong. I always laughed at Hiroki's temper. He had such a temper, but all that had to be done to quench it was for Nowaki to come up behind him and kiss his neck or something. Anger easily turned to embarrassment for Hiroki.

On the other hand, Nowaki was calm and gentle. He would have been a perfect father. He would have rather adopted a baby and raised it, but he wouldn't go against Hiroki's wish. Nowaki was stubborn and tried to talk Hiroki into it at first. But right before Hiroki would have given in, Nowaki told him that they wouldn't adopt a small child then.

Right before they had adopted me, I was asked if I was fine living in a same-sex home. I was excited at that because I had already noticed my interest in men. Being in a home with parents who were the same gender would mean that they wouldn't reject my love life. I wouldn't be punished for it. It actually made me pursue it more.

I ended up becoming pretty open with it in high school, but that didn't go too well. I was made fun of and beat up a few times. Finally I gave up and was going to just suppress my feelings for the rest of my life. Reject my taste in men and make myself fall in love with a woman. So I went out with a girl my senior year. She was my best friend all throughout high school, but I lost that relationship once she noticed me still staring at men as we were on dates. I just couldn't help it. I didn't feel attracted to her.

"Haruto!" Nowaki said. I could hear the smile in his voice. "How are things? Are you sure you don't want us to visit and make sure you have enough food and things when you go back to your house?" I smiled.

"No, it's fine. Really," I said, trying to hide my sadness from earlier with Kazuki yet again. Unfortunately most things didn't get past Nowaki, even on the phone.

"Haruto, what's wrong?" my father asked, his voice serious. I sighed, not answering. "Please tell me. I can help in any way I can, you know that." I bit my lip.

"Kazuki's awake…" I told him, not trying to hide my sorrow anymore.

"That's great!" Nowaki said, his voice still serious, "But that can't be what you're sad about. What is it?"

"He…didn't respond at all to anything that happened right before the crash," I said, "I thought that we would be together now, but I guess it was a one time thing for him. He almost acts as if it never happened or he made himself forget." I heard a sigh on the other end.

"Give him time," Nowaki said, "Just let him heal and get things back to normal. You might be surprised at how things will turn out. Now I'm really sorry but I need to go. I love you and stay safe okay? Call if you need anything."

"Yes sir," I answered, smiling a bit, "Tell Hiroki I said hi. Miss and love both of you."

"I will." I hung up the phone and let out a sigh. I always felt good after having a serious talk with Nowaki. He always knew what to say in any situation.

I turned around to see Kazuki's parents just walking out of the elevator. I waved so they saw me and made my way over as fast as my weak leg could carry me. I smiled when we met. "So they let you in?" I asked with a grin.

Kazuki's dad nodded. "They knew we were coming. The nurse told them and said you were calling us to come over," he said.

"Yeah the nurse heard me as I said it to Kazuki," I told them, "I'm sure you want to see him so let's go."

"Yes, please," Kazuki's mother pleaded. I smiled again and started to make my way to his room. They kept my slow pace, even though his mother looked as if she was going to push us aside and make a run for it.

We walked in to see the doctor staring at Kazuki, looking puzzled. "Are you sure about this?" the doctor asked. Kazuki nodded, looking as confused as he was when I left his room. The doctor sighed and turned around to see us as we walked over.

"Kazuki my darling!" his mother exclaimed and practically pushed the doctor away and hugged her son. Kazuki looked down at her with a confused expression. He glanced at the doctor and the doctor nodded. Kazuki then slowly hugged his mother back. His mother started to kiss his cheek and hair and face. Kazuki looked like he was eating some bad tasting food as she did so.

"Mr. and Mrs. Saito…" the doctor started. They both looked at him.

"Yes?" Kazuki's father asked.

"Your son Saito, Kazuki…can't remember a thing before waking up here. He has amnesia from the impact."

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><p><strong>Read and Review? Thank ya! ;P<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews! I'm really thankful for those, seriously! I love when people let me know how I am doing, good or bad. :)**

Chapter 3

"What do you mean he can't remember a thing?" the older woman screamed at the doctor. I blinked and couldn't help but shrink back from her a bit. The older man looked shocked, but kept his mouth shut and looked down at the white tile of the room. The doctor put his hands up to set on the woman's shoulders, but she tore away from him.

"He will be fine," the doctor soothed, "He probably will remember….sometime soon. I don't know when." The woman started to take ragged breaths and tears welled in her eyes. Even in this state, I could tell she was rather attractive. She had light brown hair and smile lines around her mouth. Her eyes were a soothing blue that reminded me of a deep ocean. She was slender in build and wore a peach colored dress shirt with a grey skirt and high heels. She also wore a grey jacket over her shoulders.

"I–I want my son back," she gasped as she turned into the older man's chest. He took her in his arms willingly. The man was strongly built unlike the woman. He had dark brown hair that almost looked back and had dark brown eyes. He wore a dark grey trench coat that covered him to just above his knees. His legs were covered with tan dress pants and black dress shoes. He looked up at the doctor.

"How long will he have to stay in the hospital?" the man asked. The doctor rubbed his chin in thought before he answered.

"Maybe a couple days at least. He seems to have healed mostly while he was unconscious," the doctor said. The man nodded.

"Okay just call us when he is ready to leave," the man sighed. Haruto, the boy who had kissed me earlier, suddenly sprung up from the chair he had fallen into when the doctor had told him of my amnesia.

"A–Are you taking him back to your hometown?" he asked desperately. The man nodded. Haruto glanced around at everyone in the room as if he was thinking fast. "You don't have to!" he blurted. The man turned to Haruto, still holding on to the woman.

"Why? He won't be able to take care of himself for a while once he's out of the hospital, Yukimura. Plus he needs rest and around the clock care," he said. Haruto clenched his fists.

"I can do that here! He…He can live at my apartment until he is better!" The room fell silent at that moment. The woman looked up at Haruto.

"That is very kind of you," she said with a small smile. Before she could go on the man broke in.

"But that kindness is not needed," he said, "Kazuki _will_ be coming with us."

"Will he be able to make the trip though?" Haruto challenged, his emerald green eyes like twin fires. I stared at them for a moment mesmerized. Anyone who looked into them would definitely be sucked into a vortex of green, like I was at that very moment.

The woman sighed. "…I think we can trust Yukimura to look after our son," she soothed her husband, "Hasn't he always called us if something has happened to Kazuki? Like with the motorcycle incident with Yamato, Makoto. Yukimura called us the moment there was even a chance Kazuki was hurt. Thank God he wasn't though." The man nodded with a sigh. He looked back at Haruto.

"You can look after Kazuki," as he started Haruto's face brightened a bit, but fell again as the man went on, "_If_ he is okay with it." They all turned towards me. I blinked.

"Uh…I…don't know," I stammered glancing around the room. The doctor then stepped up to the man.

"Don't make him make a decision like that this early while he is still confused," the doctor said, "Just make a decision please." The man sighed but nodded.

"Fine, Yukimura," the man said, "You can take care of him. But you better do it right and don't tell him lies of the life he doesn't remember." Haruto nodded.

"I promise to only tell him the truth, Mr. Saito," Haruto vowed with a smile.

The woman unwrapped from the man's arms and walked over to my bed. She hugged me tight. I tried to hug her back, but it felt…awkward. "I'll miss you, Kazu," she said through a fit of tears, "Remember fast okay? I'll visit you soon."

"I'll try…Mom?" I asked. She nodded and hugged me again. She kissed my cheek and coated it with lipstick and tears. I didn't dare wipe it off while she was still in the room. The man, who I assumed was my father, walked over after his wife. He ruffled my hair gently on top where the head bandage wasn't present.

"Don't do anything stupid while you're in this state, son," he told me, "And call us if you need anything." I forced a smile at him and he nodded once. He wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders and they both made their way out of the hospital room with the doctor trailing behind.

Once I finished watching everyone leave, I looked over at Haruto. He had slumped back into the chair, his hand in his jet black hair. He looked stressed. Did my father really shake him up this much? "Were we friends?" I asked him. He looked up at me, his fingers untangling from his hair.

"Yeah," he told me. I nodded as I lay back down against the pillows of my bed.

"Close friends?" I asked again, glancing over at him. I barely caught his slight blush before he looked down at his tan hands in his lap, his hair shadowing his face.

"Best friends," he chuckled. I nodded.

"Then those people were my parents? Where do they live?" I asked. He looked back up at me.

"Yes," he explained, "They live in a town about four hours from here."

"Why do they live so far away?"

"You're a freshman in college." He said.

"Do you go to the same college?" I asked. He nodded with a slight smile. I focused on it. He had a slight dimple in his left cheek as that was the side his lip tugged at as he grinned. I blinked a few times. Why was I noticing all of these details? What made him so special? My lips tingled as I remembered his kiss.

"What was that before?" I asked again. He turned his head to the side a bit in confusion.

"What before?" he asked. I rubbed my arm in nervousness and glanced over at him.

"When I first woke up you…kissed me," I mumbled looking away from him. There was silence for a moment. I glanced at him again, about to repeat if he didn't hear. My eyes widened a bit as I saw the sight before me.

Haruto had his tan hand over his mouth, trying to cover up the hard blush underneath his trembling fingers. He was staring past me outside the window. I tried to get into the center of his gaze as much as I could without feeling pain in my abdomen. "Um…I said–"

"I know what you said!" Haruto exclaimed, his voice shaky, "I just…I'm sorry. I really am." He let out a shaky breath and went on, "I–I don't remember. It must have been those drugs that the doctors gave me for the pain in my leg. Pretty heavy stuff." I nodded. I didn't know if he really didn't remember it or not. I would be pretty embarrassed too if I found out I had kissed a guy and I didn't remember it. Well actually I could have…I didn't remember anything before today. I could have been full out _gay_ for all I knew. I shuddered a bit. Who knew what kind of person I was.

"Are you cold?" Haruto asked. I looked up at him to see he had stood up. His face was cooled and he looked pretty normal except for the uneasiness in his eyes. Why was he so easy to read?

"Yeah…kind of," I lied to him. I was honestly fine. He nodded.

"I'll get a nurse to get you an extra blanket then," he said before giving me a smile. I smiled back and he made his way out of the room. I rubbed by arm as I saw his limp again. I had been told I was in a crash. Was Haruto in it as well? How long ago was it? Why did I get beat up like this while Haruto just had a bad leg?

I had so many questions.

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><p>I itched my weak leg for the thousandth time and rolled around in my bed. It felt good to be back home after two weeks of sleeping in that hard hospital bed, but thinking of Kazuki all alone in that huge medical building made me uneasy. I knew he would be fine but I couldn't help but worry.<p>

I sat up and looked around my apartment. The moonlight shined through the sliding doors leading out to the landing made the room look eerie and lonely. My apartment was fairly small. Why did I think that two people could live here? There were only two rooms separated by a dividing wall and a full bathroom. One of us would have to sleep on the floor or we would both have to sleep in the…

I covered my face with my hands and pushed myself back down into the pillows of my bed. I couldn't even finish the thought without my face turning red. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself.

I had one more day to figure out how to deal with this awkward situation I had gotten myself into. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't think any thoughts besides those of friendship while Kazuki was staying at my apartment. He needed to rest and remember. Once he remembered then maybe we could talk about what happened between us. But in his current state it was impossible.

I sighed again and closed my eyes, covering my face with the sheets. Sleep took over fast, gently taking my worries and fears with it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay I decided to post a little sooner than I planned cause...well I had the chapter done and I also wanted to share something with you guys! My friend read my story and she's like an AMAZING drawer! So she drew Kazuki and is in the process of drawing Haruto and some other characters and scenes. She gave me the picture of Kazuki today and I freaked! It was too perfect! She got every aspect I had of Kazuki onto paper. So I guess I did pretty well in explaining how I saw him in my writing?**

**So since she gave it to me I decided to put it up on Deviantart so I could show you all! My account on Deviantart is the same as it is on Fanfiction. XxXCollinXxX**

**By the way, I know some readers love having their own vision of the characters and that is totally fine. I just was really excited about this so I decided to share it with you. It's up to you if you want to look at it or not.**

**Thanks for reading and be sure to leave me a review so I know how I'm doing! :D**

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><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

Haruto helped me out of the taxi onto the sidewalk. Once he unfolded my wheelchair I sat in it. Even though I could walk now, the doctor had said to use the wheelchair whenever I wasn't in the house or sitting down.

As I got myself comfortable I looked up to see a rather normal apartment building. I had actually expected one of those apartments in the rough part of town. The ones all the college students ended up getting since they were practically broke. Haruto had told me that he was a Junior in the same college I went to. That made me feel a little better. I wouldn't be going to some school that everyone knew me while I didn't even remember where I sat.

"Thank you," Haruto said to the cab driver with a smile, giving him the money we owed. The driver gave him a grunt and rolled up the window. He was off in a matter of seconds. I squared my jaw.

"He was rude," I retorted. Haruto chuckled a bit.

"You're going to meet people like that everyday, Kazuki," he answered with a smile towards me. I shook my head and looked back at the apartment building.

"Lead on," I told him. He nodded and started to roll my wheelchair towards the front door.

Haruto's apartment was on the third floor. Once we got out of the elevator he rolled me down the hall to a door with the letters 3C on it. "Here we are," he said as he fumbled with his keys to unlock the door.

"This is nicer than I thought it would be," I said to him as he opened the door. He rolled me in and shut the door again.

"I have a pretty good job at the coffee shop across the street," he explained, "Since it's so close I can get a little more hours in. Plus then I don't have to pay for subway and taxi fairs."

"What about college?" I asked as I slowly stood up. He put his keys on a key rack by the door and shrugged his black jacket off.

"Close enough to walk to and I don't have tons of classes this year. I scheduled them so they are later in the day. My first class is at 5pm and my last class starts at 8 pm." He explained, "I can take your jacket." He held out his hand towards me, his own jacket draped over his other arm. I took my own dark red jacket off as well and gave it to him. He opened the door close to the front door and hung the jackets up.

As he did so, I turned around to see his apartment. It wasn't large, but wasn't small. It was ideal for one person. We were in the kitchen upon walking in. It consisted of a medium sized fridge, an oven and stove, a table big enough for two people to sit at and some counter and cabinet space. The door to the bathroom was also in this area. I peeked in as I walked past it. It was a regular bathroom with a sink, toilet and bathtub/shower. Fairly clean for a college student. Actually the whole apartment was.

I kept walking until I passed the wall that divided the apartment. On the other side was what looked like a bedroom. There was a queen sized bed with a nightstand next to it. On the nightstand a clock and a lamp rested. Across from the bed was a small desk and a bookshelf crammed with books. I walked over to look at some of them.

"I'm sorry for the one bed thing," Haruto said as he walked in the room, "I'll sleep on the floor." I turned to him before I got the chance to read any of the book titles.

"Okay," I said, "But it's your house. I'm not kicking you out." Haruto smiled again. God I was getting tired of those things. He smiled like every two seconds and every one was genuine and dazzling.

"I told your father that I would take care of you until you fully recovered and remembered. And I intend to do that to its fullest," He said, picking up a stray notebook on the floor by the bed. I crossed my arms and looked away.

"I don't need taking care of," I mumbled. Haruto laughed. I blinked as I heard it. I had never heard Haruto laugh that I remembered. It was actually quite…uplifting.

"Until you remember what you had for lunch the day before the crash you will need taking care of. And since I'm the only one who really can at the moment then you will have to put up with me," he chuckled. I turned back to him to see him sitting on the bed.

"So you're pretty much saying you are my only friend? God I must be a real freak," I told him rolling my eyes with a slight smile. Haruto's face fell. I stared at him. Did I say something wrong?

"No, I wasn't your only friend. Makoto was also a friend of…ours," he said quietly, "He moved to America the day of the crash. By the time he was up in the plane we were driving down the highway." I sighed, trying to figure out why Haruto was so sad all the sudden.

"Were you two close?" I asked him. Haruto's head shot up to looked at me, his eyes full of surprise. He let out a nervous chuckle.

"No," he said, "You two were closer than him and I." I nodded and straddled the desk chair. I tried not to show my soreness as I did so.

"So why did he leave?" I asked. Haruto shrugged.

"Apparently his family decided to move back to America. His father is American," he said, "Makoto wanted to stay in Japan but his parents didn't want the family to be separated anymore. Now all of his family live in America since his mother's parents died." I nodded and set my chin on the back of the chair. Haruto suddenly plopped down on the bed with his hand through his hair. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment.

"You two were close…" he finally told me, his voice quiet, "You were really sad when he left. That's why I pulled over to the side of the road on the highway. If I had just waited to get off that highway then we wouldn't be in this mess. But I couldn't stand seeing you so depressed. I had to comfort you somehow." I stared at him. He looked so guilty. But it wasn't his fault, was it? The doctor had told me that a truck had slid because of water on the road and hit our car.

"It's not your fault," I told him coldly, "The stupid truck hit us. At least that's what the doctor told me." Haruto shook his head.

"It is my fault," he breathed, "And you had to be stupid and go and protect me." I blinked and lifted my head off of the back of the chair.

"Protect you?" I asked. Haruto's green eyes shot towards me in nervousness. He shot off the bed and smiled.

"Are you hungry? I can go get some food for tonight at the store really quick," he said as he started to walk towards the closet again to grab his jacket.

"Um…sure?" I said, utterly confused. Haruto nodded and swung his jacket on. He was out the door in a flash.

I sat there for a moment, trying to figure out what had happened. Haruto's words echoed in my mind. I shook my head to try and clear it. Protect him…how would I protect him in a car crash? Is that why he was barely hurt while I suffered from amnesia? I really wanted to ask him these questions…but I was afraid he would evade them again. Apparently he was hiding something from me. Something important. And I had only scratched the surface with today's conversation.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke to the smell of eggs and bacon. I sat up in the bed but was welcomed with a new set of sores alone my spine. I let out a small cry, trying to conceal it behind my pale hand. Not two seconds later Haruto's dark head of hair poked around the dividing wall.<p>

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes full of concern. I nodded slowly.

"Just sore," I told him. He sighed and disappeared again. I heard a cabinet door open and close then the shaking of pills in a plastic bottle.

"After you eat I've got some pain killers that the doctor told me to give you each morning," Haruto's voice drifted from the kitchen, "And I think you need to take them right before you go to bed too. Sorry I didn't think of them last night."

"Okay," I mumbled, still half asleep. I pulled the covers back and slowly stood up. I stretched my back and let out another small cry. I then made my way into the kitchen, scratching my bare stomach.

Haruto was scraping eggs onto a plate on the table as I walked in. He smiled up at me, but froze for a moment. He then quickly looked back down at the eggs as he set them down on the table, as if he was hiding the expression on his face. "Good morning," he said. I gave him a nod as he looked back up and he chuckled. "You never were a morning person," he added. I shrugged and sat down in one of the chairs. Haruto put a few bacon strips on my plate with the eggs. He let out a happy sigh as he sat down in his own chair.

As I started to chew on a bacon strip, Haruto took a bite of his eggs. "I have to go to work in a little bit," he said. I nodded. "You don't have to go to your classes yet, so just hang here until I get back. Just rest. The TV is behind the cabinet doors next to the bookshelf." I nodded again as I picked up another strip. Haruto chuckled.

"What?" I mumbled. He smiled at me.

"You're so funny in the morning," he laughed. I looked away from him in a scowl and chewed my bacon to bits in frustration.

Once Haruto was finished, he stood up and started to clean up the mess he had made while making breakfast. He was almost finished by the time all my food was gone. I stood up and set my dishes in the sink as Haruto went to grab the bowl of eggs to put in the fridge. I turned around to see him staring at me, his eyes dark.

"What?" I asked. He stuttered wordlessly for a moment. "What?" I repeated, a little harsher. He shook his head.

"N–Nothing…" he stuttered again as he continued to clean up. I narrowed my eyes.

"What?" I asked him, not caring if my tone was hostile. Haruto bit his lip and turned around.

"It just…your back," was all he said. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, but headed towards the bathroom. I flicked the light on and turned around in the mirror. My eyes widened as I saw my pale back. It was raked with scars and stitches held some of the bigger wounds together. No wonder my back hurt so much. I stretched my back a little and saw the scars loosen and tighten. I bit my lip as pain shot through it.

"Here," Haruto said quietly as he went to stand in the doorway. He put a couple of pills on the counter and a glass of water. "I'm sorry…" he whispered. I turned to him.

"It's not your fault," I told him, "…Unless you're not telling me something." I held my blue gaze to his downcast green. "Look at me," I said harshly. He looked up at me with dull emeralds. He shook his head and left the bathroom. I heard the closet door open and close. I let out a sigh as I heard him leave the apartment.

Leaning against the counter I looked at myself in the mirror. I still had a scratch over my left cheek that will probably turn into a scar. I ran my hand through my shaggy dark brown hair. I sighed again. Tonight I was going to talk to Haruto about what he was keeping a secret from me. I trusted him to tell me of my old life and I wasn't going to let him get away with anything.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I stormed out of the elevator and out the apartment complex. The only thing running through my mind was the image of Kazuki's back. Those wounds made my stomach churn the moment I saw them. I felt so guilty then, but now I was just angry at myself.

I saw a trash container on the end of the apartment's driveway and ran over and kicked it as hard as I could. It fell over with a crash, baby diapers and take-out food tumbling out. I heard a man yelling from the door to the apartments at me, but I ignored him and continued down the sidewalk towards the coffee shop I worked at. It didn't take me long to get there, only five minutes tops.

I went around back and opened the door with my key. When I got in I took my jacket off, replacing it with a green smock. After I checked in I made my way to the front of the shop, nodding to the manager as I passed him in the kitchen. I let out a sigh as I saw most of the tables were empty. The few occupants were college students typing on their laptops, sipping from their cup of coffee as they worked. I raked my hand through my hair and turned back to the back finding myself face to face with a petite girl with bleached blonde hair. She broke into a huge smile as she saw me.

"Haruto!" she exclaimed as she gave me a hug. I groaned in pain a bit as she leaned against me, forcing me to put my weight on my weak leg. She quickly let go. "Sorry…" she apologized with the same smile. I shrugged.

"It's okay Aiko," I told her, forcing a smile. She sighed and gave me a playful glare. Grabbing my good arm, she pulled me to the back.

"How is Kazuki? Does he remember anything?" Aiko asked me, her hand lingering on my arm for comfort. I looked away from her.

"He doesn't remember a thing," I mumbled. Aiko gave me another hug, gentler this time. I let her. Usually I didn't let girls hug me since my incident with my high school girlfriend, but Aiko was different. She was like a sister to me. She knew my preferences and even encouraged them. She was my best friend. Probably even closer than Kazuki since I told Aiko anything that had to do with the brunette.

"Is he at his condo alone?" Aiko suddenly asked, pulling away from me. There was a friendly worry in her eyes. I shook my head.

"Yes…and no," I told her, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment, "He's at my apartment." The blonde's eyes widened and she tried to hold back a smile. I rolled my eyes. "Go ahead…" I mumbled. Aiko burst out into laughter, her hand over her mouth.

"He's staying with you?" she howled, "That's hilarious! So are you both sleeping in that bed of yours?" I blushed a deep red and let out a mental sigh of relief as I heard the annoying bell ring as the front door opened.

"No," I told her before I made my way to the table the new costumer had taken.

* * *

><p>I sighed as I felt the hot water run over my body, shivering a bit as it hit my scarred back. I couldn't get Haruto's face out of my mind. The way he had looked at me made my insides churn in an emotion I couldn't recognize. I tightened my jaw as I grabbed the shampoo bottle. I squirted some in my hand and started to lather up my brown hair. I felt like my hair was screaming in joy that it finally was getting clean. It had been almost two weeks since I've had a decent shower that I know of.<p>

I swore as a drop of the soap landed in my left eye. I quickly put my face under the water and rubbed my eye. With my left eye closed, I picked up the bottle again and looked at the label. No wonder it stung. It was a cheap brand.

_"Hey Haruto?" I called from the older man's bathroom._

_ "What?" a voice called back from the kitchen. I squinted at the shampoo bottle in my hand. _

_ "Why do you keep this crap? It's bad for your hair you know," I snapped back at him. I set the bottle back in the shower and leaned in the doorway from the bathroom to the kitchen. "I'm definitely buying you a lifetime of the same shampoo I use. Its way better for you hair."_

_ Haruto laughed as he looked up from his laptop at the table. "No thanks," he replied, "I don't want my hair to be a ratted piece of fur on my head." I chuckled._

_ "That's how my hair is," I said back, "You know that. If I didn't use the shampoo I do now then it would be a lot worse."_

_ "So are you saying that my hair is worse than yours?" the tan man asked as he raised a dark eyebrow. I shook my head._

_ "You're hair is naturally healthier than mine," I explained, "But it can look even better."_

I swore as the bottle hit my toe. I blinked away the foreign images. What was that? A memory maybe? Over a shampoo bottle? God how much of a freak was I?

* * *

><p>I opened the door to my apartment and peeked in. "Kazuki?" I called. <em>If I catch him half-naked or something I'm gonna scream…<em>I thought.

"What?" a harsh slurred reply came from inside. I let out a sigh of relief and opened the door fully and walked in, hanging my jacket up.

"Just making sure I wasn't walking in on you at an awkward moment," I chuckled, closing the closet door. I walked further in to see Kazuki spread out on my bed, remote in hand, staring at the TV. His blue eyes rested on me in a glare.

"I'm frickin' hungry," he mumbled, "Took you long enough to get home." I couldn't help but laugh at him. Now this was the man that I had grown to love throughout past year. "What?" he snapped at me. I smiled at him.

"Nothing," I told him, "Just this is the Kazuki I remember." He narrowed his eyes.

"The Kazuki you remember," he repeated, "Well your welcome. Now please can we eat something? It's 9:00 at night and I'm starving." I set my school bag down against the wall.

"Did you eat already?" I asked him. He shook his head, making his already messy hair even worse as it rubbed against the pillows.

"I only found enough for lunch in that stupid refrigerator," he mumbled. I laughed again as I turned around to the kitchen.

"Let me guess…" I said, "You only found enough food for lunch that you could eat without cooking it right?" There was silence. I chuckled a bit more. I could just picture that signature scowl on his face.

Once I had fixed some soup for the both of us, we sat down to eat at the table. I glanced up at Kazuki with a smile as he shoveled as much of the food into his mouth as he could at one time. "Don't eat too fast," I laughed, teasing him, "You might get a tummy ache."

"Oh shut up," Kazuki mumbled. I laughed again. He swallowed and set his spoon down, looking back up at me. "I…remembered something today," he added softly. I froze.

"Y–You did?" I asked, setting my spoon back into my bowl of soup, "What was it?" Kazuki shrugged.

"Shampoo," he said with a small smile. I stared at him for a moment.

"Shampoo?" I asked, confused. I thought for a moment before it hit me. I chuckled, "Let me guess...you were trying to make me get rid of my 'crappy' shampoo?"

Kazuki nodded. "That stuff is crap," he told me, "I refuse to use it."

I broke into a huge grin. "You're such a rich kid, Kazuki," I laughed, "But it's…" _cute,_ "…funny." Kazuki rolled his eyes and grabbed his spoon again. After eating a bit more of his soup, he stopped and looked at me.

"What do you mean 'rich kid'?" He asked.

"You're parents are rich," I explained, "Your dad owns a big company that makes buildings in Tokyo. You get whatever you want 'because you're a Momma's Boy." I added a teasing grin to that last sentence and Kazuki glared at me. "You have a condo in the nicer part of town," I continued, "It's pretty big. It has a full kitchen, sitting room and upstairs loft where your bedroom is. Also one of the walls is a full window that overlooks the city. It's pretty nice." As I finished, Kazuki's eyes widened.

"Seriously?" he exclaimed, "Then why am I here in this dump?" My smile faded and I cast my gaze down. I forced another smile.

"I didn't want you to be there alone," I said, "I promised your dad I would look after you, didn't I?" Before he could answer I stood up and washed out my bowl. Now with my back turned to him, my fake smile fell. Kazuki had never called my apartment a dump. Even though he could be rude and self-centered sometimes he still was semi-nice to me most of the time.

I heard Kazuki get up out of his chair. "Haruto–"

"I'm going to take a shower," I interrupted him as I turned towards the bathroom. I shut the door and leaned against it. _I guess Kazuki is going to change a bit from this experience, huh?_

* * *

><p>"I didn't mean to say it like that," I repeated after Haruto shut the bathroom door. I sighed and finished off my bowl of soup. Once it was gone I stared at the empty bowl. Haruto had done so much for me already. Telling him that the one place he had opened to me most out of anything was a dump was beyond rude. I set the bowl in the sink and walked over to the bathroom door. I reached up to knock on the door to say sorry, but stopped myself as I heard the shower start up. I let my hand fall. "Whatever," I mumbled, turning away.<p>

As I turned I noticed how dirty the kitchen was. The soup pot was still on the stove and there were dishes stacked up in the sink from the day. I glanced back at the bathroom. I smirked and started to clean off the table. I could at least do this for him.

* * *

><p>I rubbed my dark hair dry with the towel as I slightly limped out of the bathroom, clothed in my sweatpants I wore to bed. Despite my fully healed arm, my leg was still giving me trouble every once and a while. And using it this often wasn't helping.<p>

I sighed. I still had dishes to do before I hit it off to bed. I wouldn't have time to do it in the morning. I had breakfast to make for Kazuki, and lunch…and dinner.

I slipped the towel off my head and blinked in confusion at the sight before me. The once cluttered table was clean and orderly and the sink was free of dirty dishes. Even the soup pot was gone off of the stove. I walked over and opened the fridge. A medium sized bowl held the soup and was covered with plastic wrap. I closed the door and looked around another time. Did…Kazuki do this?

I walked around the dividing wall and despite the blasting TV, Kazuki was fast asleep. I smiled and walked over beside the bed. I gently ruffled his hair. Yup, he was definitely asleep. If he was faking it he would have got up and slapped me for that. I leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Thank you, Kazuki." He stirred a bit but didn't wake. I smiled again and softly, like a butterfly kiss, touched my lips to his forehead.

I smiled again, turning off the TV, and walked back around the wall to my make-shift mat that I used as a bed. I slipped under the blankets and set my head on the pillow. My lips still sung from the slight touch of Kazuki's skin. How I longed to touch his skin again the way he had let me three weeks ago…I felt myself blush a bit as my mind wandered. I didn't care. For one night I was going to let it fly.

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><p><strong>R&amp;R? Thank ya :D<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the reviews! I'm so glad that at least one person out there likes things story. And as long as there's even one person, I will keep on writing! But to be honest...It would be nice to hear from any silent readers out there...if I have any.**

**But anyway! Here's chapter 6 and I hope you all like it! :D**

**Please review!**

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><p><span>Chapter 6<span>

_"Hey, Kazuki!" a voice called from the classroom doorway. I looked over and saw a grinning a boy with shocking red hair that only bleaching and dying could conjure up. I smirked back to him._

_"What is it, Makoto?" I asked turning from the window I was gazing out of. Makoto's grin got bigger._

_"You know what's going on, right?" Makoto answered my question with a question of his own. I made my way through the cheap wooden desks to him and shook my head. "Hanako is getting hit on by, none other than your great nemesis…Ryo!" My face fell._

_"What?" I exclaimed, speeding my pace across the empty classroom. Makoto nodded his face serious now._

_"Your girl is not backing off from him either," the red-head added. Anger boiled up inside me and I pushed my best friend aside, quickly making my way down the hall. "She's just outside the front entrance!" Makoto voice drifted down the hallway as I turned my brisk walking into a run._

_My breathing was a little deeper by the time I got outside of the school. I looked around and heard Ryo's deep voice almost immediately. I followed it around the corner to see something that I would never forget. _

_Hanako, my girlfriend, was pinned up against the school building by Ryo. But by Hanako's smile I could tell she was enjoying every minute of it. Ryo's lips were pressed firmly against the soft flesh of Hanako's neck. The place that I thought I only had dibs on. Ryo's brown eyes fluttered open and glared at me. He knew I was there, but Hanako didn't. My hands turned to fists._

_"What the he–"_

_"Now, now Saito don't use those kinds of words around a lady," Ryo smirked as he lifted his lips off of my girl, or who I thought was my girl. Hanako's eyes shot open and she pushed Ryo off of her. _

_"Kazuki…this isn't what it looks like–" she stuttered. _

_"Like heck it is," I snapped, my anger boiling to a point that I was afraid it was going to blow. Ryo smirked._

_"Well I think I know what it is," the buff teenager chuckled, "It looks like your girl likes me more. So beat it, Saito. You're outmatched." Before I realized my body was moving, my fist had smacked against Ryo's jaw. Hanako screamed and ran as Ryo touched his now bloody lip. "Saito, Kazuki…the rich boy can really punch. Well let's see if he can fight."_

_Suddenly I was thrown against the school wall, the left side of my head pounding. I glared up at the smirking Ryo and pushed off the wall, tackling him. He barely budged and threw me to the ground. Over and over, my vision blurred as my stomach was bombarded by kicks. I closed my eyes for a moment. I shouldn't have hit him…it was suicide to get into a fight with Ryo. _

_I barely noticed when the kicking stopped, but when I realized there weren't any more jabs of pain I opened my eyes. This time I saw Ryo pinned up against the wall, a flame headed boy holding him there. I smiled a bit as Makoto tightened his grip on Ryo's neck. _

_"What did I tell you about messing with me, Ryo?" Makoto almost growled a tone he rarely used. Ryo's eyes were full of fear as they met Makoto's fiery amber ones._

_"H–He isn't you though…" Ryo stuttered, trembling under the red-head's grip. Makoto's fist hit Ryo's jaw in a loud smack, furthering the blood trickle down his chin._

_"Yeah? Well he's my bud and you treat them the same as if it were me," Makoto growled again, "Now get your lazy a– over there and say sorry to me." Ryo nodded franticly and Makoto slammed the bigger boy on the ground next to me. _

_"Sorry…Saito," Ryo mumbled. Makoto's foot hit the back of Ryo's head. "I'm sorry for stealing your girl! Mr. Saito, Kazuki sir!"_

_"Better," Makoto hissed as he let go of Ryo, "Now get outta here."_

* * *

><p>My eyes snapped open and I tried to slow my breathing. Thank God that was a dream…or was it? It was too vivid to be just a dream. My eyes widened. Was it another memory? I could tell it had happened a few years ago when I was in high school. I remembered the school and the many girls I dated during that time. Almost every girl had cheated on me…that's why I decided that men were much more understandable. So I <em>was<em> gay.

Makoto…why did I recognize that name? All I remembered him was as my best friend in high school. He was a partier. The guy every girl fell in love with and every guy was afraid of. He was a good person to have as a friend not an enemy.

I kicked the blankets off my body and sat up. The open window next to the bed cooled the sweat on my chest. "Haruto?" I called. I wanted to ask him if he knew Makoto, or if he was just a childhood friend. There wasn't an answer.

I got up from the bed and made my way around the dividing wall. Haruto wasn't there and the bathroom door was open. I glanced at the clock on the microwave. It was already 10:35 am. I rubbed the back of my neck as I suppressed a yawn. How did I not wake up before Haruto left? And why was I kind of sad at the thought of not seeing the raven haired boy off to work?

Looking around the room, I noticed a note on the table. I picked it up. In Haruto's surprisingly neat handwriting it read:

**Kazuki,**

**I made breakfast for you, but you didn't wake up so I just let you sleep. When you get hungry there is food in the fridge that you just have to heat up in the microwave.**

**~Haruto**

I smiled a bit. Haruto wasn't going to let me go hungry again today, but one thing he couldn't crave was my boredom. I had watched TV all day yesterday and slept. I definitely didn't feel like sleeping or watching soap operas again. I ran my fingers through my hair and walked over to the refrigerator. I got out the soup from last night and heated it up in the microwave.

As I waited, I noticed a notebook on the table. I stared at it a moment, wondering what could be in it. If it was for school Haruto would have taken it with him. He left straight from work to school so he would bring his school bag. I leaned against the counter, my eyes not leaving the dark green notebook as I thrummed my fingers against the laminate.

Finally my curiosity was too much. I swiped the notebook off the table and started to thumb through it. There was writing in Haruto's hand. _Lots_ of it. Page after page was full from top to bottom. Finally I came to an empty page halfway through the notebook. I looked at the last written page. At the top was yesterday's date.

**Kazuki has definitely changed at least a bit since the accident. He would have never done what he did tonight three weeks ago. He actually cleaned up after himself! And not just himself…me too! I was astonished when I saw. I wonder if the accident wasn't a twist of bad fate after all. Maybe it is for the better.**

I shut the notebook quickly after realizing this was his journal. But I couldn't help but find myself smiling a bit. Haruto wrote about me in his most personal notebook. I knew I should probably feel a little creeped out…but I didn't. I was kind of happy.

I ran my hand over the worn cover, opening to the first page. Reading just the first page wouldn't hurt right?

**I never would have thought I would be writing down my thoughts in a stupid notebook…but Nowaki told me it would help with everything that has been happening. With my now-awkward relationship with Hinata...and the bullying has started up again. I guess I never really was meant to love girls in a romantic way. It always blew up in my face. Who knew though….I might find a great partner like my fathers did.**

I blinked in surprise. Haruto was gay as well? Plus his parents were two men? I slowly made my way back to the bed and sat down, staring at the words written in blue ink. Somehow I found myself continue to read the journal. Page after page. Problem after problem. I read for hours, which were years in the writing. But I stopped as I saw my name appear for the first time in the pages.

**Today I met this new freshman on the campus today. He was stumbling around like a lost puppy. I saw him at least five times in less than two hours. So finally I asked his name. "Kazuki Saito," he answered kinda sharply for someone who was lost. It made me smile. His attitude was adorable. I introduced myself as well and asked him if he wanted some help in finding his classes. He surprisingly declined my offer then stormed off. Even though it was a small encounter, I couldn't help but find myself thinking of the pale brunette for the rest of the day.**

I bit my lip. Why couldn't I remember that? It seemed I was really mean to Haruto when we had first met…then how did we become friends?

Just as I started to turn the page, I heard the lock on the front door click. I froze. Haruto was home...and I was looking through his personal journal. In a frenzy I jumped off the bed and peeked around the dividing wall. The lock clicked some more. It seemed as if he was having some trouble unlocking the door. I thanked whoever was listening as I quietly ran over to the table and set the notebook down exactly how I had found it. Just as I ran back around the wall, the door opened.

"Kazuki, I brought some treats home from the coffee shop," Haruto said, his tone a little excited. I didn't answer, just slowly and silently shifted myself into a sleeping position on the bed. Closing my eyes, I heard him set down his school bag and walk into the kitchen. "Kazuki?" Haruto called again as I heard a box scruff onto the counter. There was silence for a moment and I could just imagine that tuff of raven colored hair peek around the dividing wall. I heard a little chuckle then silence again. Then I could have sworn I heard a small gasp and Haruto quickly walk over to, what I guessed, was the table. He had found the notebook. My heartbeat quickened, hoping he didn't find out I looked through it.

"God, I'm dumb," I heard Haruto say to himself. As I sensed him walk around the wall again I forced myself to relax. The drawer in the nightstand opened then closed. I shifted as If I was bothered by the noise in my sleep. I heard a small chuckle again. "Oh Kazuki…you're so…" Haruto trailed off. He then shook by shoulder. "Kazuki. Kazuki wake up. I got your favorite pastry." I made myself moan a bit as if waking up.

"Wha…?" I mumbled.

"Just get up you sleepy butt," Haruto laughed, "It's only two in the afternoon, you still have the whole day ahead of you!" I opened my eyes and looked up at Haruto. He looked even more happy than usual.

"What's up with you?" I asked him as I sat up, having a hard time not smiling a bit myself. The raven haired boy laughed and sat next to me on the bed.

"Honestly, I don't know. I just feel really…happy," as he answered, his smile got bigger as he glanced back at me.

As his glance turned into a stare, his face suddenly got softer and I found myself shifting a little under his beautiful emerald gaze. Those eyes. They always seemed as if they were looking right down into the depths of me. The way they shone were magnificent…

"Kazuki," Haruto murmured after a long pause, glancing at his fidgeting thumbs, "Thank you for cleaning up last night. It was really out of your character to do so but…" He looked back up at me. "I really appreciate it." I blinked, a little shocked at Haruto's softness. I scratched the back of my head, my fingers tangling in my rough hair.

"Hey, it's no big deal really," I said, stuttering a little in embarrassment. Haruto's eyes somehow became even softer and I could have sworn I saw a small smile tug on his lips. A smile that held a fondness that I had only seen when I first woke up. When Haruto had…

I suddenly pushed past Haruto to hide the redness in my cheeks and spun around the dividing wall. "So what did ya get me?" I asked, trying my best to change the subject. I saw a brown paper bag on the counter and I peeked inside, acting as if I couldn't wait to see what the treat was.

"A few Lemon Rolls," Haruto said as he followed me into the kitchen, " I'm going to take a quick shower before we go out. You can eat them after we come back." I blinked in confusion and looked back over at Haruto.

"Get back from where?" I asked.

Haruto smiled back at me and before he shut the door to the bathroom he answered, "Lunch."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the long absence. For personal reasons I had to stop posting my writing cause I didn't have time, but I'm back now! Hope you guys like the long awaited chapter 7! :D**

**Read and Review please!**

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><p><span>Chapter 7<span>

I couldn't help but grin as I led Kazuki into what once was his favorite ramen restaurant. Opening the door for him, I chuckled a bit as his face lit up at the deep aroma wafting from the kitchen.

"It smells amazing!" he exclaimed as I followed him into Osaka Ramen. Despite the warm, rich smell the rest of the restaurant was bright and cheery. Full of orange and red colors swirled throughout the store. A few young people sat at the booths lining the walls and others in tables that littered the space.

"I told you that you would like this. You always begged me to go here whenever we had time to eat someplace besides school or one of our apartments," I explained to him as I walked up to the bar. I rang the silver bell placed on the counter and in an instant a figure slipped out from behind the curtains that led to the kitchen.

"Haruto! Kazuki!" the man boomed, throwing up his arms in excitement, "So glad to see you two are safe and sound now!" I laughed out loud at Kaleo's obvious joy at seeing his normal costumers come back after so long. Kaleo was quite a muscular man for being in the ramen business, but his passion for noodles was clear to see. Sweat littered his sun-stained brow and his pure white teeth shone behind full lips. Kaleo was a born Hawaiian but he spoke fluent Japanese and had come to the country to learn the art of ramen and noodle making. So far he had done pretty well. His restaurant was the most popular in the district.

"Kaleo, so nice to see you again," I answered. Glancing at Kazuki I added, "Kazuki, this is Kaleo Nainoa. He's a friend of ours and owns Osaka Ramen. He makes the best Miso you've ever tasted in your life." Kazuki nodded and looked up at Kaleo with a hesitant smile. Kaleo held out a hand.

"Good to meet you Kazuki…again," Kaleo grinned and gave Kazuki a playful wink as Kazuki shook his hand, "Still trying to remember the things you should know?"

"Yeah," Kazuki answered with a small smile, "I've remembered a few. But most of it is just not important. Like shampoo or something."

Kaleo let out his big booming laugh yet again. "It's always the important stuff that slips away, _Hoaloha_."

"He means friend," I said to Kazuki as I saw his confused expression, "Even though he knows Japanese well enough he sometimes decides not to use it." Kaleo shrugged.

"It's a habit. I do it when speaking English too," Kaleo chuckled, "Now what would you two like today?"

"Just two Miso Ramen bowls, Kaleo," I told him as I got the money out of my pocket. I gave it to the Hawaiian after he wrote our down on a piece of paper.

"I'll have that out for you two in a bit," he said, giving me my change back, "Just sit down and make yourselves comfortable." I nodded and started off to the far corner of the restaurant, and Kazuki's favorite booth.

"What is up with you today?" Kazuki asked me once we had sat down, "First you bring home Lemon Rolls and now this." I shrugged, acting as if I didn't know. The truth was that I wanted to treat Kazuki special today because today was an important day. A year ago today was when I had first seen Kazuki, stumbling around on the campus looking for his classes.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Kazuki asked, a little snap to his voice, "You'll look at me then smile that stupid, goofy smile!" I brought myself back to the present and shifted in my seat in embarrassment.

"Sorry Kazuki…thinking of the past is all," I said, picking up a pair of chop sticks that were laying on the table. I broke them apart and put the tips of them to my mouth, hoping they would hide my smile that was beginning to form again. Kazuki acted more and more like this old self every day. Kazuki let out a loud sigh and slumped back in his chair. He mumbled something I couldn't catch as he looked away from me.

"Saito, Kazuki!" a voice squealed from the front of the restaurant. I looked up to see Aiko practically running from the door to our booth. I laughed as she jumped in Kazuki's booth with him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Kazuki, I missed you!" I covered my mouth as my laughing became louder. Kazuki looked so confused. He even had a little blush on his cheeks from the kiss. Even though I should have felt jealous at that, I actually didn't. Aiko was a very outgoing and attractive young lady. Even with her bleached hair and European clothes.

"This is Mori, Aiko," I explained, "She's a very good friend of ours. She's been wanting to see you for the past couple days but I told her you needed to rest. She also works with me." Kazuki nodded, his eyes still a bit wide and a hint of pink still in his cheeks.

"Hello Mori…" Kazuki said, using Aiko's formal name. Aiko's face scrunched up.

"Just call me Aiko. We're friends remember? And I'd rather be called Aiko anyway…The Europeans and Americans just call each other by their first names too," she said with a smile as she straightened out her tight skirt, settling down in the booth. Kazuki nodded, looking innocent and confused again. I let out another chuckle, trying my best to cover it up with my hand.

"What Haruto?" Aiko asked, her brow furrowed, "Is there something wrong with wanting to be called by my first name?" I shook my head and looked up at Aiko.

"It's just interesting that you were born in Japan but you want to be American so much," I answered her. She just smiled, suddenly realizing I wasn't really laughing at her.

"Two Miso bowls!" Kaleo called as he set the two ramen bowls down on the table. He then shot a grin to Aiko and added with a wink, "Anything you would like, Miss Aiko Mori?"

Aiko giggled, "Just a bowl of Shoyu Ramen please." Kaleo smiled back at her.

"I'll bring some it in a moment, Aiko," Kaleo answered. Aiko smiled and stood up to give him a kiss on the cheek as well. Kaleo grinned and left to go back into the kitchen. Aiko stared after him for a moment before sitting down again by Kazuki.

Kazuki looked over at me with a curious look on his face, as if asking if those two were more than friends. I just shrugged.

"So Kazuki, what have you remembered so far?" Aiko asked, setting her elbow on the table and playing with her hair. Kazuki glanced at her before looking back at me.

"Not much…" he answered, "Just what kind of shampoo I used." Aiko giggled a bit, knowing the story behind that. "And also," Kazuki paused and I sat up in my seat, knowing he hadn't told me this yet, "A guy named Makoto…"

Suddenly my heart lodged in my throat. He…He remembered Makoto? Did that mean that he also remembered the feelings he held towards him? I looked down at my miso bowl and started to swirl the contents around in the bowl with my chopsticks, messing up Kaleo's wonderful art he had made with the ingredients.

"Um…Haruto?" Kazuki asked, "Who is Makoto? I think I remember you mentioned him before." My jaw clenched and I started to stir faster. "…Haruto?"

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I stood from the booth and stormed out of the restaurant. I heard Aiko call my name before the door closed but I kept walking. Even after he left that Makoto wouldn't leave me alone!

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><p>I stared after Haruto as he stormed out of sight down the street. I quickly looked at Aiko and asked, "Did I…say something I shouldn't have?" Aiko, who had stood up as Haruto had left, looked back down at me and sighed.<p>

"No Kazuki," she murmured, "Makoto…is a touchy subject for Haruto."

"Why?" I wanted to know why this Makoto guy was so important! What Haruto had against him and his relationship with Haruto. I remembered my relationship with him. We were close friends in high school but that was it.

…Right?

Aiko sighed again and I saw a softness come over her expression. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Her skin was flawless and her hair flowed like water past her shoulders. Slight smile lines still graced her mouth on either side even though her young face was calm.  
>She sat where Haruto had just been and grabbed my hands in her own. "I would tell you, Kazu," she said softly, "but I think Haruto should be the one to tell you. The situation involves him a lot more than it does me." She pat my hands with her own soft ones. "Just give him time. Maybe tonight after he has calmed down you can ask him about it." Her eyes darkened. "But don't ever hate Haruto for anything okay? He's trying his best. I know he is." I blinked in confusion.<p>

"What has Haruto done?" I asked. Aiko shook her head.

"It's not what he has done, Kazuki. It's what he feels." With that Aiko stood up and smiled at me. "I'll get take-home bowls that you can put this ramen in then I'll take you home. Is that okay?"

"Um…sure." I answered as I stood as well, glancing at the door yet again. What was Haruto hiding? I had known he was hiding something this whole time but I had yet to have the time to ask him about it. I sighed and furrowed my eyebrows, trying hard to remember whatever I had lost. Every memory of my parents and my hometown. Aiko and Kaleo. Makoto and Haruto. I let out a frustrated sigh and covered my face with my hands. Why couldn't I remember?

"Kazuki..? Are you okay?" Aiko asked as she came back with the take-out bowls. She set them down on the table and gently pulled my hands away from my face. I saw her surprised face as she added, "Kazuki, why are you..?" She then grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the kitchen of the building. I touched my face to realize I was crying.

As we entered the kitchen I saw Kaleo and another man leaning against the steel table in the middle of the room. They were talking and smiling, but the moment Kaleo saw my expression his own fell. "Leave please," Aiko told the men. Kaleo nodded and motioned for the other man to follow him out.

Once they were gone Aiko looked into my face and wiped away some of the tears. "Kazu, what's wrong?" she asked in a voice that reminded me of a mother. I looked up into her worried chocolate brown eyes and I suddenly found myself crying a little harder.

"I can't frickin' remember!" I yelled at her through tears, "Why can't I remember, Aiko?" Aiko's eyes glazed over as if she was about to tear up as well.

"…I don't know. God works in mysterious ways. This could be for the better."

"God?" I suddenly exclaimed, my tears stopping, "Like _God_ has anything to do with this!" Aiko flinched and let go of my wrist. "God has some frickin' sense of humor if he has anything to do with this! Making me forget my whole life! My _life_, Aiko! What if you lost everything you had known? Because of a stupid car crash! Lost your love of America or lost how you felt about Kaleo! Or even you stupid dog, Dingo!" Aiko's face suddenly turned into one of surprise.

"Kazu…" she said with a growing smile.

"What?" I yelled back at her. She burst into a giggle.

"Haruto or I never told you about my feelings for Kaleo or even about my dog Dingo!" she laughed, "How did you know that?" My enraged face softened and I blinked.

"Um…I don't know I just said it," I answered her. Aiko giggled a bit more and hugged me tight.

"You're healing, Kazuki!" she said into my ear, "You'll remember everything soon. I know it!"

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><p>The doorbell rang just as I slammed shut my diary notebook and I looked up at the door to my apartment. The moment I got home I had grabbed my notebook and started to write furiously in it until the paper was practically ripping. I let out a sigh and got up to see who it was. Probably Kazuki and Aiko. As I opened the door I was met with a shove to the shoulder as a blazing red haired man pushed past me.<p>

"Where's Kazuki?" He asked, turning back around to look at me. I was frozen to the spot. Shocked that he of all people would show up at my apartment. Especially after he had left the country. Suddenly my frozen fear turned into a hot rage. I narrowed my emerald eyes, meeting blazing blue ones.

"What are you doing back, Makoto?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Makoto Yamato was a suspiciously attractive young man. His moon-pale face always had a smirk to it that just drove me into an angry rage but somehow melt Kazuki down to the bone. That's why I hated this red-haired, blue eyed tramp. He acted like he owned the world, but really the only thing he owned was _my_ world. He was able to manipulate Kazuki like he was some Marinette doll.

Makoto smirked and looked up at me. "Kazuki's parents told me what happened to you two. How Kazuki can't even remember his own mother. So I came to check up on you guys." I rolled my eyes and let out a half-hearted chuckle.

"You mean you came to check up on Kazuki," I spat, "Well he doesn't need your crap right now! He's still healing!" Makoto's smirk got bigger and he took a step closer to me.

"Still healing in your apartment, right? Let me guess…you probably told him you two were lovers. Have you taken advantage of him yet, Haruto? Have you−" I slammed the door to drown out his words. I couldn't listen to his playful taunts like I always did. I just couldn't.

Makoto let out a laugh. "Still have a temper I see," he smirked as he took a step closer, "It's still so very hot…" As he trailed off he pushed me up against the door and pinned my hands above me. He licked my cheek as I tried to get out of his grip.

"No! Stop!" I yelled, trying to break free. I keep me from moving Makoto quickly put a knee up in between my legs. He then crashed his lips up against my own. I tried to scream but Makoto kept his lips firmly on mine. I bucked and squirmed, trying my best to get away from this tyrant.

He pulled away from my lips for a moment and kissed my neck. He then purred darkly, "You're so soft, Haruto. I'm shocked I didn't put on move on you sooner."

"Let me go!" I growled, "Go back to America and molest some other guy!" Makoto chuckled.

"Oh but I have a thing for Japanese guys," he purred yet again, "Just something about their temper just flips a switch."

At that moment I was saved by a knock on my door. Makoto froze and let go of me. But before I could make my escape his fist met my stomach. I let out a grunt as I hit the door. I heard a couple gasps on the other side of the slab of metal before lips touched my ear.

"You speak of this to anyone, Haruto Yukimura," Makoto whispered darkly in a pure threat that I knew he would fulfill, "I swear your pretty face won't be able to see you're precious little Kazuki ever again." I froze, my eyes wide. He knew right where to strike. Not a threat to me or anyone else…but to Kazuki. My dear Kazuki…

And I knew he would do it too.

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><p>This time I knocked on the door to Haruto's apartment, worried that something was wrong. Glancing at Aiko I knew she was thinking the same thing. What was that thump that we just heard? Something hit the door…<p>

"Haruto?" I called, hoping he would be able to hear me through the thick door. I waited for several moments before Haruto finally opened the door.

"Kazuki…" His voice had a strain to it. "Sorry I stormed off…I just…"

"It's okay," I interrupted him with a smile, "I understand that you may have problems with Makoto and I'm ready to wait until you feel comfortable telling me."

"What about me?" a new voice said that reminded me of a dark velvet purr. I barely heard the gasp from Aiko as the door opened wider to reveal a man that I recognized right away. He was older of course than I remembered him…but I knew the color of his blood-red hair and the sparkle in his azure-blue eyes.

"M-Makoto?" I stumbled, "Are you..?"

"The one and only, my little Kazuki," As he said that he pushed past Haruto and I suddenly felt his lips on mine. My body went rigid and in a flash I had Makoto up against the doorframe with a shocked expression clearly on his face.

I wiped my lips and glared at him. "What the heck!" I yelled, "Would people stop kissing me when I first meet them?" Aiko giggled a bit as Makoto just looked at me, shock still plastered across his pale face.

"You're not as hot as you think you are, Makoto," she laughed as he walked up to him and patted his cheek. Her laughing suddenly stopped and she glared at him. "Now leave." Makoto's shocked got wider for a moment before his expression turned to a smirk.

"Oh come on, Baby," he said with a smooth smile, "I just got here. Can't I see my Kazuki?" Aiko's glare got harder.

"Leave Makoto!" she almost growled, "Kazuki needs to eat still and then he probably will want to lay down. Today was his first day out of the apartment. Now go."

Makoto's smirk turned hard. "Look, you don't tell me what to-"

A hard smack stopped Makoto from saying the rest of his sentence.

"It's half of your fault we're in this mess!" Aiko yelled, "Now go before I call the cops on you for trespassing in Haruto's apartment!"

"But he let me in!"

"You know I don't care." Makoto's jaw clenched in anger, but he was down the hall in a matter of seconds.

Aiko then pushed Haruto and I into the apartment, giving me the food bag she was holding. The door then slammed shut and she was gone.

I looked up at Haruto to see a look I had never seen him wear before. He looked tired and sad all at the same time. "Haruto..?" I asked. With that one word he pulled me into a hug, making me drop the food.

"Kazuki," was all he said, "Kazuki, Kazuki." He just kept saying my name. Over and over. I stood not knowing what to do but let him hold on to me. My eyes widened as I felt a wetness on my neck where Haruto had nuzzled his face. He was crying.

Before I knew it I was holding him, stroking his soft raven hair. "Haruto…What's wrong?" I finally dared to ask. His face came up to meet mine and I almost gasped a little. The tan skin of his face was drowned in tears with his eyes red and his jaw tight. Before I knew it his lips barely brushed against my own. As I started to fell his lips push against mine, Haruto was gone from my arms. The bathroom door then shut. I looked at it and bit my lip. My heart was pounding and I felt like I couldn't move.

And why did I feel like I wanted more?

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><p>I ended up staying in the bathroom for half an hour, feeling ashamed of myself. I had almost done to Kazuki what Makoto had done to me! With him holding me like that I just couldn't help but kiss him. His lips were so soft and just…there. As if they were taunting me to touch them.<p>

I knew this was going to be a bad idea. Having him stay in my apartment.

When I finally left the bathroom I saw Kazuki slowly eating the rest of his ramen. My stomach churned. I wasn't hungry anymore. As he looked up at me I bit the inside of my cheek and turn away from him. Before I knew it I was heading towards my diary notebook. But I stopped as I started to open the drawer. I sighed and leaned up against the dividing wall, closing my eyes.

"Haruto." I squeezed my eyes harder. I couldn't bare to hear his sweet voice. So innocent still. "Haruto…" he said again as I heard him make his way towards me. I opened my eyes to see him standing next to me, cutting me off from an escape unless I went over the bed.

"Yes?" I asked, finding out that my voice was rough from thirty minutes of crying in the bathroom.

"Tell me about Makoto." I couldn't stop my eyes from widening and my face to scowl a bit.

"No," I said simply as I climbed on the bed to escape.

"Haruto please!" Kazuki's voice was pleading now as he grabbed my wrist, stopping me from moving any further.

"Let me go!" I said harshly as I tried to pull out of his grip, but instead I ended up pulling him towards me. I fell on the bed as he did the same but over me. My face fell into a blush as his own face was looking down at me, his hazelnut hair shadowing his features. I tried to swallow as my heart stuck in my throat. Why did he have to fall into such an attractive position? "Get off of me…" I whispered, not sounding very convincing. I started to push on his chest but that just made it harder to think. I could feel his muscles underneath his shirt…

"Not until you tell me," he answered with a playful smirk. I blinked as I blushed even harder. _No Kazuki, please don't play this game with me. I won't be able to hold back…_

"I won't tell you until you get off of me," I snapped back at him.

He chuckled a bit and added, "You won't tell me either way then?" I glared up at him.

"No." Kazuki sighed and stared at me for a moment. "Stop staring at me." I added, for my own sake. I was staring at him too. But I knew it was more of an attracted stare and not the stare like he was. He was thinking.

"Kazuki, please!" I finally said in a plea, "I can't take this."

"Take what?" Kazuki asked, his voice suddenly dark, "Take me being this close to you? Staring at you?" I closed my eyes and tried to squirm away from him but he quickly held me down by my shoulder.

"Kazuki!" I exclaimed, opening my eyes again to see an expression I hadn't seen on Kazuki's face since before the crash. He was just about to get what he wanted. What that was…I had no idea anymore.

"Tell me," he said again firmly. I tried to move his hand off of my shoulder.

"Kazuki, please just let me go!" I cried, looking away.

"Then tell me, Haruto!" he yelled back. I looked back up at him to see in his eyes he wasn't talking about Makoto anymore.

I stopped squirming and stared up at him. I was afraid to say it. For once in my life since I met this man I was afraid to tell him I loved him. Since these feelings started I had told Kazuki over and over again that I loved him more than anyone else in the world. But now…now I didn't want to tell him.

"Haruto…" his voice was now soft as rose petals, "Tell me please. Tell me how you…how you feel about me." I froze as I felt as if someone had stopped my heart. "Haruto please…" this time he was pleading. I didn't know what to say. Here I was in a situation I only had in my dreams. The one and only man I loved was pining me down in a bed asking me how I felt about him.

I was silent for a long time before Kazuki loosened his grip on my shoulder. He was suddenly gone before I realized it and the bathroom door shut. I let out the breath I was holding and turned over to bury my face in my comforter.

As my body calmed down I started to realize that I had just wasted a chance with Kazuki that I had been waiting for since I first met him. A chance that I probably won't get again for a long while… or maybe not ever again.

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><p><strong>Please, please, please give me reviews! I would love to know what you all thought of my story! Thanks! :D<strong>


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